Moving Forward
by Lady Crimson Rose
Summary: We can't move backwards, but we can't move forwards either. I want to move forward so bad. Oneshot. TsuHis


Author Note: Hi everybody! Well this is my first one-shot, so I hope you enjoy!

-Tsuzuki's P.O.V.

It was supposed to have been a simple case.

A boy had died but hadn't moved on and Hisoka and I had been sent to get him. We had found the boy and tried to break it to him that he was dead.

That's when it all went wrong.

The boy had unnaturally high spirit energy. He freaked out and had used his power against us. He had shot a powerful blast at me, a very powerful blast.

I knew I didn't have the time to move, I knew I was going to die.

At the last second I was harshly shoved out of the way. At first I couldn't believe it. There was no way that Hisoka, my partner, my friend was the one who took that blast. There was no way that Hisoka was the one on the ground covered in blood, not moving and possibly dead.

When the boy had realized what he had done he simply stared in horror. I had taken the chance to put a fuda on his head and send him on.

So now here I sit, outside of the infirmary, waiting for Watari to come out and tell me Hisoka was going to be ok.

He was going to be ok… right?

After what seemed like forever Watari came out.

"Watari, is Hisoka ok?" I ask and quickly stand up.

"He's in pretty bad shape, but he'll be ok," Watari says. I haven't seen him so serious in a while. "It's a miracle he's not dead," he added.

"Can I see him?" I asked. I need to see him, just to make sure he's really ok. When Watari nods I walk inside and shut the door quietly.

I pull up a chair and sit beside Hisoka's bed. He's covered in so many bandages he's hardly recognizable.

This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so careless…

That blast was meant for me, not Hisoka.

"I'm so sorry Hisoka," I say quietly, putting my face between my hands. "I promise to protect you, but I end up getting you hurt." Great I'm crying now.

"It's not your fault," it's a mere whisper, but I heard it.

My head snaps up and I see emerald eyes staring back.

"Hisoka," that's all I can say.

"Tsu, why are you crying?" Hisoka asks. He's breathing is labored and it's probably hard to talk.

He brings his hand up and wipes away my tears. By the way he winces slightly I can it hurts to do it, but he does it anyway.

"I thought that I had lost you," I say quietly, wiping the rest of my tears away.

"You didn't lose me," he says and as if to prove it, takes my hand and places it on his chest.

"Why did you do that Hisoka?" I have to know. "Why did you save me?"

"I thought you were going to die," he begins, looking away. "I couldn't live without you," his voice is pained.

"Besides, it's not as bad as it looks," he adds turning back to face me.

"Don't lie Hisoka," I say firmly. "It's a miracle you're not dead."

Hisoka smiled softly and tightened his grip on my hand.

"I'm not going to die," he says, closing his eyes. "Not if it means leaving you alone."

My eyes widen at his words. You're not going to die, not if it means leaving me alone. Does that mean you're living for me? You told me to live for you in Kyoto and I do. I guess we're living for each other then.

I look back down at Hisoka and smile. His eyes are still closed and his breathing is still a little labored. I'm not sure if he's awake or not.

I take the time to simply admire my partner. Despite what he thinks he's beautiful. Even when we first met I thought so.

I brush some strands of hair out of his face. My smile widens as he leans into the touch and murmurs something incoherent.

Yep, definitely asleep.

Hisoka has changed so much since he first came here. He used to be so cold and would blow your hand off if you tried to touch him. After our first case we became a small semblance of a working partnership. Later we became friends, and then we became something greater. We were more than friends, but less than a couple.

We can't move backwards, but we can't move forward either.

I sigh softly and sit back in my chair. We can't move forward, but I want to so bad. I realized a while ago that I loved Hisoka.

At first I thought it was hopeless, that Hisoka would hate me for feeling that way. But after Kyoto I had hope. That hope has grown since then and now I'm almost completely sure that he loves me too.

Both of us are just too afraid to admit it.

I rest my head in my arms on Hisoka's bed. Soon…soon I'll tell Hisoka I love him, but for now I'll just wait for him to wake.

Owari

Author Note: Yes that's the end! I'm writing a sequel to this, so keep on the lookout for it. Please review, but no flames! Thank you.


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